ok i have a few min so i'll write bout california. it was a super duper long drive like over 12 hours. :P it took forever! an then it was cloudy an rainy the whole time we were there while it was sunny back here at home. not fair! lol. there was a lot of fast guys racing...a lot of fast girls too! which was cool to watch. umm when we first got to the track an went into the trailer there had been an accident! matt just got a new gearbag thats white and green and he had his other bag with all his clothes in it on the floor too, but on the way down, a cabinet opened up and a jar of spaghetti sauce fell out, broke open, and covered everything! but mostly, just matts stuff. i have never seen him so mad. he just got super quiet and had an extremely hostile look on his face. so we left him alone for awhile...haha but i had to scrub sauce off the door, the walls, the fridge, scoop it outta the heater grate. ugh it was so gross. an than after all that was done, we used the last of the sauce an had spaghetti for dinner. haha. lets see, i also almost blew up the trailer cuz i was makin beans for dinner and was holdin the handle of the pot with a paper towel...smart move, NOT. the corner lit on fire but at first i didnt notice cuz i was watchin my dad but than i felt it! i dropped the paper towel on the floor and thankfully, stamped it all out. but i melted part of my flip flop in the process...ahaha. im such a moron. o well. i cant remember anything else to amusing but we got home tuesday about one in the afternoon an were leavin again tonight for a race in spokane. fun stuff. lol o i just remembered something else! on the way to cali we stopped to sleep in the middle of night and guess where we slept: WALMART! ugh we are now officially the weirdos who sleep at walmart. jk jk it was funny tho cuz there were a lot of trailers parked there so i guess at least we werent the only ones. :) okay well i gtg help load the trailer. Adios.
This is some of the damage done by the spaghetti sauce. haha. Try Geeross much!!!
okay right now i dont have enough time to talk bout cali but i will as soon as i pass civics and geometry. wish me luck dudes!
just wanted to say that im leavin 4 cali tonite so i'll write next week when i get back wednesday-ish :) peace!!!!!
not much new stuff goin on. well i guess i am goin to cali i'll be gone like 6 days. its gonna be a long drive tho :P no fun haha. but after we get there it should be good since we get to spend the whole time at a track *badadadada* haha matts tryin to qualify for lorettas so he needs to get top 4. i think he will. he has been trainin his a** off and workin hard so he deserves it! hmm other news...charlie was declawed last week, poor baby! she wasnt so happy bout that but seems to be healing up fine. shes as crazy as ever running around messin with everything. lol. went to wild waves this weekend an got my season pass all taken care of. the picture sucked tho cuz there cameras are gay an take stupid dark pics. lol. it was hecka hot there but not too many people were there so we never had to wait in line. i talked to sammi yesterday an we were talkin bout how were gonna hang out this summer. its gonna be so bomb! our parents are gonna get so sick of is tho. lol. im pretty pumped about it tho so woohoo. lol. alrighty i gotta go but i will post more later...possibly, not for sure lol. enjoy the sunshine. peace.
I woke up this morning and the sunshine was seeping into my room through the spaces between my blinds! I have been waiting and waiting for the sun to come out and it finally has :) so in celebration of that fact i actually look like a girl today!! lol im wearing a skirt. ya i know, a skirt! i hate skirts haha but i am in such a good mood today :) :) i dont think anything will be able to get me down.
Badadadadadadadadada!!!!!!! sorry, i just needed to get that out :) :) hehe
okay, so theres not much to say. i didnt do much today. i went to work, did schoolwork, went to taco time with matt and joe, o ya: i went an saw my baby cousin lonnie :) he's super duper duper cute!! an he has SO much hair its crazy. hehe. than we went to the farm an got some veggies :P haha. now im at home an i should be doin civics but i really dont want to. lol. and than tomorow im goin to the track with matt so i can take some pics an stuff so that should be fun too i guess :) alright well i'm runnin outta things to say so i'm gonna stop now haha. peace.
How do you get over fear? I have been having the same dream every night for weeks. From this dream I understand that some part of me wants to race motocross. Badly. And not just the weak excuse I've come up with that I call racing, either. I mean racing hard, fast and putting 110% of myself and my time into. But for this dream I've been having to actually happen, I need to get over my fear. I'm scared to go fast. I have seen so many people get hurt but no matter what all they want to do is get back on their bikes and go ride faster and better than they did before they hurt themselves. They are so driven and committed to this sport. I want to be the same way. I have been around the track for like 2 years now and I love everything about it. I love watching the races, I love riding and I love how just one sport can bring so many people together. When I ride, I get such a rush. It's fun and scary and just awesome. I want to be able to go out on the track and ride and be good at it. I hope I will be able to grow up a bit and get over my fear of actually twisting the dang throttle haha. When you watch the guys who go out and put everything they have into a race, its amazing. I just need a bit more commitment and and a hecka lot more courage. Maybe someday. lol.
*RIP Rocky 446*
CHAD REED!!!!!!!! That made me SO happy to watch him beat Windham. lol. Even tho chad isnt cute anymore thanks to his new haircut. eww! haha. but o well he rode good. so thumbs up to him. peace.
i was rushing to get on here cuz i thought i had a lot to say, but now i cant think of any of it. lol. okay well we left for a dirtbike track on friday night. when we got there we watched hairspray...well actually we didnt finish it cuz it was hmm....unique? to say the least. lol. than it was practice all day saturday. it didnt rain but it was like misty all day so i could barely see at all the whole time i was riding. but the track was awesome and i did good. sunday- i raced. but i was the only person in my class so i got first place! haha. i went down a couple times but i always got back up and thats the important part. :) the track was even better on sunday than saturday and it was sunny. so it was basically a super good weekend. :) :) :) but now i have to go do some schoolwork so ttyl.
These are a bunch of poems I have written during various times in my life...
All Without Words
Walking away
Glancing back
Somber faces
Eyes like glass
Glancing back
A glint
A tear
Rolling down a cheek
Frozen in time
No words to speak
Emotions mixed
Confusion rings
Glancing back
Tender lips
A fake smile
Take no comfort
A long while
Till this will pass
Glancing back
Pained expressions
Joy lacks
Glancing back
The eyes
That used to smile
Say goodbye
Silence.
-james
I Don't Know
When I'm alone
I feel cold
Like I'm struggling to breathe
All by myself
Like a story
With no happy ending
I feel weak
At the knees
Like I'm falling towards the ground
It's like I'm lost
In a maze
And I can't find my way out
I'm tired, scared and reckless
And I don't know what to do
I'm fighting with myself
Should I keep running after you
I felt safe
In your arms
Now I'm not sure where to go
I could go right
I could go left
But right now I'm too confused
You said for sure
That you would stay
But now you've gone away
And here I sit
Wondering
What am I supposed to do
I'm lonely, sad and restless
And I don't know what to do
I'm fighting with myself
Should I keep running after you
-james
How Do You Know?
How do you know?
You know when merely the thought of him brings you joy.
When even the smallest glimpse of him quickens your heartbeat.
When he takes your breath away with a single smile.
When he holds you in his arms and all of your words are lost.
When you can look into each others eyes and say I love you without ever parting your lips.
You know when you no longer ask yourself, "Is this it?"
-james
Him
The hair that I run my fingers through
The eyes that stare into mine
The ears that listen to all I have to say
The lips that kiss mine
The arms that hold me tight
The fingers that intertwine with mine
The legs with which he stands tall
The feet that support him
From head to toe
He is perfect
-james
Do You Know?
Is it love
You ask yourself
How do you know
How should it feel
I think love
Should feel breathless
Amazing and complete
What is love
We always wonder
Will I know
Will I be sure
I'm sure love
Will feel certain
And you'll never have a doubt
I think of it as wonderful
Like in a splendid dream
Never pressured, always patient
As in fairytales it seems
So when you ask if it is love or not
Only ask yourself
Because to each and every person
A different answers found
-james
Silent Knowing
Together they share,
Unknown to others,
A smile, a touch, a private stare.
Lost are they,
In a world all their own,
Treasuring silence,
Yet a million words to say.
Words linger unsaid,
And float through their minds,
Fingers intertwine,
Thoughts of all else dead.
Their smiles they show,
Their feelings they express,
Their words are left silent,
Because in their hearts they know.
-james
Hiding
Hidden is she,
The one you never see.
Empty and lonely,
Hidden deep beneath the sea.
Sea of faces,
Sea of tears,
Sea of places,
Sea of fears.
She hides herself from us you see,
Because she never learned to be.
Learned to be free,
And spread her wings,
Open herself,
For us to see.
She never wanted us to know,
The depth she truly held.
She never wanted us too near,
For fear of love itself.
She shut us out and kept her in,
So that we'd never know,
That she was scared of what we'd think,
When she let her true self show.
-james
Laughter, Joy and Love
Walking all alone,
Shadows flicker,
Footsteps groan,
He approaches,
Secret smiles exchanged,
Lost feelings renewed,
Laughter, Joy and Love.
First, Laughter
Ringing clear and true.
Next Joy,
Filling the hearts of many.
Then Love,
Lingering like a morning fog,
Dampening some,
While enlightening others.
Laughter, Joy and Love.
-james
