May 13, 2008
Badadada
How do you get over fear? I have been having the same dream every night for weeks. From this dream I understand that some part of me wants to race motocross. Badly. And not just the weak excuse I've come up with that I call racing, either. I mean racing hard, fast and putting 110% of myself and my time into. But for this dream I've been having to actually happen, I need to get over my fear. I'm scared to go fast. I have seen so many people get hurt but no matter what all they want to do is get back on their bikes and go ride faster and better than they did before they hurt themselves. They are so driven and committed to this sport. I want to be the same way. I have been around the track for like 2 years now and I love everything about it. I love watching the races, I love riding and I love how just one sport can bring so many people together. When I ride, I get such a rush. It's fun and scary and just awesome. I want to be able to go out on the track and ride and be good at it. I hope I will be able to grow up a bit and get over my fear of actually twisting the dang throttle haha. When you watch the guys who go out and put everything they have into a race, its amazing. I just need a bit more commitment and and a hecka lot more courage. Maybe someday. lol.
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These are a bunch of poems I have written during various times in my life...
All Without Words
Walking away
Glancing back
Somber faces
Eyes like glass
Glancing back
A glint
A tear
Rolling down a cheek
Frozen in time
No words to speak
Emotions mixed
Confusion rings
Glancing back
Tender lips
A fake smile
Take no comfort
A long while
Till this will pass
Glancing back
Pained expressions
Joy lacks
Glancing back
The eyes
That used to smile
Say goodbye
Silence.
-james
Walking away
Glancing back
Somber faces
Eyes like glass
Glancing back
A glint
A tear
Rolling down a cheek
Frozen in time
No words to speak
Emotions mixed
Confusion rings
Glancing back
Tender lips
A fake smile
Take no comfort
A long while
Till this will pass
Glancing back
Pained expressions
Joy lacks
Glancing back
The eyes
That used to smile
Say goodbye
Silence.
-james
I Don't Know
When I'm alone
I feel cold
Like I'm struggling to breathe
All by myself
Like a story
With no happy ending
I feel weak
At the knees
Like I'm falling towards the ground
It's like I'm lost
In a maze
And I can't find my way out
I'm tired, scared and reckless
And I don't know what to do
I'm fighting with myself
Should I keep running after you
I felt safe
In your arms
Now I'm not sure where to go
I could go right
I could go left
But right now I'm too confused
You said for sure
That you would stay
But now you've gone away
And here I sit
Wondering
What am I supposed to do
I'm lonely, sad and restless
And I don't know what to do
I'm fighting with myself
Should I keep running after you
-james
When I'm alone
I feel cold
Like I'm struggling to breathe
All by myself
Like a story
With no happy ending
I feel weak
At the knees
Like I'm falling towards the ground
It's like I'm lost
In a maze
And I can't find my way out
I'm tired, scared and reckless
And I don't know what to do
I'm fighting with myself
Should I keep running after you
I felt safe
In your arms
Now I'm not sure where to go
I could go right
I could go left
But right now I'm too confused
You said for sure
That you would stay
But now you've gone away
And here I sit
Wondering
What am I supposed to do
I'm lonely, sad and restless
And I don't know what to do
I'm fighting with myself
Should I keep running after you
-james
How Do You Know?
How do you know?
You know when merely the thought of him brings you joy.
When even the smallest glimpse of him quickens your heartbeat.
When he takes your breath away with a single smile.
When he holds you in his arms and all of your words are lost.
When you can look into each others eyes and say I love you without ever parting your lips.
You know when you no longer ask yourself, "Is this it?"
-james
Him
The hair that I run my fingers through
The eyes that stare into mine
The ears that listen to all I have to say
The lips that kiss mine
The arms that hold me tight
The fingers that intertwine with mine
The legs with which he stands tall
The feet that support him
From head to toe
He is perfect
-james
The hair that I run my fingers through
The eyes that stare into mine
The ears that listen to all I have to say
The lips that kiss mine
The arms that hold me tight
The fingers that intertwine with mine
The legs with which he stands tall
The feet that support him
From head to toe
He is perfect
-james
Do You Know?
Is it love
You ask yourself
How do you know
How should it feel
I think love
Should feel breathless
Amazing and complete
What is love
We always wonder
Will I know
Will I be sure
I'm sure love
Will feel certain
And you'll never have a doubt
I think of it as wonderful
Like in a splendid dream
Never pressured, always patient
As in fairytales it seems
So when you ask if it is love or not
Only ask yourself
Because to each and every person
A different answers found
-james
Is it love
You ask yourself
How do you know
How should it feel
I think love
Should feel breathless
Amazing and complete
What is love
We always wonder
Will I know
Will I be sure
I'm sure love
Will feel certain
And you'll never have a doubt
I think of it as wonderful
Like in a splendid dream
Never pressured, always patient
As in fairytales it seems
So when you ask if it is love or not
Only ask yourself
Because to each and every person
A different answers found
-james
Silent Knowing
Together they share,
Unknown to others,
A smile, a touch, a private stare.
Lost are they,
In a world all their own,
Treasuring silence,
Yet a million words to say.
Words linger unsaid,
And float through their minds,
Fingers intertwine,
Thoughts of all else dead.
Their smiles they show,
Their feelings they express,
Their words are left silent,
Because in their hearts they know.
-james
Together they share,
Unknown to others,
A smile, a touch, a private stare.
Lost are they,
In a world all their own,
Treasuring silence,
Yet a million words to say.
Words linger unsaid,
And float through their minds,
Fingers intertwine,
Thoughts of all else dead.
Their smiles they show,
Their feelings they express,
Their words are left silent,
Because in their hearts they know.
-james
Hiding
Hidden is she,
The one you never see.
Empty and lonely,
Hidden deep beneath the sea.
Sea of faces,
Sea of tears,
Sea of places,
Sea of fears.
She hides herself from us you see,
Because she never learned to be.
Learned to be free,
And spread her wings,
Open herself,
For us to see.
She never wanted us to know,
The depth she truly held.
She never wanted us too near,
For fear of love itself.
She shut us out and kept her in,
So that we'd never know,
That she was scared of what we'd think,
When she let her true self show.
-james
Hidden is she,
The one you never see.
Empty and lonely,
Hidden deep beneath the sea.
Sea of faces,
Sea of tears,
Sea of places,
Sea of fears.
She hides herself from us you see,
Because she never learned to be.
Learned to be free,
And spread her wings,
Open herself,
For us to see.
She never wanted us to know,
The depth she truly held.
She never wanted us too near,
For fear of love itself.
She shut us out and kept her in,
So that we'd never know,
That she was scared of what we'd think,
When she let her true self show.
-james
Laughter, Joy and Love
Walking all alone,
Shadows flicker,
Footsteps groan,
He approaches,
Secret smiles exchanged,
Lost feelings renewed,
Laughter, Joy and Love.
First, Laughter
Ringing clear and true.
Next Joy,
Filling the hearts of many.
Then Love,
Lingering like a morning fog,
Dampening some,
While enlightening others.
Laughter, Joy and Love.
-james
Walking all alone,
Shadows flicker,
Footsteps groan,
He approaches,
Secret smiles exchanged,
Lost feelings renewed,
Laughter, Joy and Love.
First, Laughter
Ringing clear and true.
Next Joy,
Filling the hearts of many.
Then Love,
Lingering like a morning fog,
Dampening some,
While enlightening others.
Laughter, Joy and Love.
-james
1 comment:
I allways wished I had the guts to race my horse faster than I did, but now I look back and think it must have been a safe guard so I wouldnt kill myself....my scars finally faded off my back from that one time.
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